Koinonia

Well, things finally caught up with me and I got the flu:( I was trying to slow down, but I think mentally I wasnt. And most importantly, I wasnt focused and having the necessary time I needed to spend with the Lord. The flu sure knocked me off me feet and slowed me down. I have to say thru this experience, its been awesome to connect with my brothers and sisters in Christ. So many people have been encouraging and checking up on me. And yesterday I stopped by the church to drop a book off, and a few of my pastors were there. 2 prayed for me and I broke down crying cuz i was in so much pain and because i was so frustrated to be getting sick during these busy weeks. I was so embarrassed crying in front of everyone. But a dear friend came out and sat with me and encouraged me. Then they annointed me with oil and prayed over me. Such a neat experience for them to comfort me and tell me how much I am loved. I could have never imagined being in such a place 3 yrs ago. I was so miserable and never came out of my room. I was so antisocial. And since I couldnt find a church where I felt I belonged, I just stopped going to church. I dont believe people when they say they can make it without church. Fellowship is such an important part of following Christ. Its too easy to fall when you are not surrounded by loving people who can encourage you and keep you accountable. Ive been there.

no, no, no!

Its been tough trying to focus on the Lord the last couple of weeks. There are so many distractions. Ive been so busy that Im getting behind on sleep, and mentally, I cant rest. Im continually thinking of what I need to do next. Its hard for me, cuz I feel its better for me to be really involved, and I say "yes" to everything. Im afraid that I would be my old self and withdraw and fall away from the Lord. But I know that sometimes I should say no, and I dont. How can I help others if I dont take care of myself? For now, I go try to get a full nights sleep, and pray that Jesus would give me sweet dreams instead of creepy nightmares!

Haha. I loved Bill's comment tonite that the problem with a living sacrafice is that it is able to crawl off the altar. We constantly are telling God we give everything up to Him, we arent going to mess up again, and then next day, we fall. This is why we are told to take up our crosses DAILY and follow him. Every day we must die to self.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowlege him and He shall direct your path. God's no is truly a yes! When He closes one door, another one opens! The safest place to be is in Gods will.

Sometimes we think we are following the Lord's lead and the door gets slammed in our face. We think, "Why God?" and get discouraged. But I am able to look back at those times in my life and realize that God's timing and direction is perfect. If I would have pushed my way through in my timing, things would have been a DISASTER. He truly knows what and when is best!

More of you, less of me, Lord.

Well, I did get to tie everything in today when I spoke. It ministered to a couple of people, so awesome! I had such a great time talking with the ladies. I love my church. I am so thankful that the Lord brought me here, and really opened up my heart. I am a totally different person, mostly because I am being transformed. I have woken up from a life of lukewarmness. The Lord loves us perfectly, and perfect love casts out fear. And as the fear is cast out of our lives, we will let go of what we hold onto and give God full control. And in return, we will live the most satisfying life beyond what we could imagine.

"And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it." Matt. 10:38-39

Time to go start my James study! Im so excited to see what I learn!!!

Devotion

I am leading a devotion in the morning, and I have been trying to decide what to teach on. There are so many things that God has been showing me, and Im hoping if I write them all down, they will come together. He's taught me total surrender, laying down our lives, abandoning all of me, waiting on Him, listening to His voice, how fragile our lives are, not knowing when it is our time to go. That He has a plan for us. Store up our treasures in heaven. Returning to our first love. We are His Bride. k, still dont know what to focus on~ LORD, please give me direction is what I should speak on. Show me what these ladies need to hear. I am so much younger and dont know what level we can relate on.

I fell in Love

I fell in love
with You because
You loved me as Your own,
Youve called me to Your throne

So I gave You all I had
to lead me down Your path
Cuz I knew that one day
Id be with You to stay

I believed
You would guide me
but I was broken through and through
Lord where were You

When I gave You all I had
to lead me down Your path
Cuz I knew that one day
Id be with you to stay

So I began to doubt You had my life planned out
I felt so alone
But You reminded be You died to set me free
That You were my Hope

That you gave me all You had
to lead me down Your path
Cuz You knew that one day
Id be with You to stay

And so I fell in love
with You because
You love me as Your own
Youve called me to Your throne.

-by Me